When I think about success in the broad sense, I think about Trey Songz with the braids' song "Gotta Make It."
It was on his first album, and if I'm not mistaken, it was his first single.
Trey Songz tells his girl he HAS to make it and "get her out of the hood." He talks about being at the bottom but getting to the top. He makes promises of Mercedes and mansions. He says everything he does; he does for her.
I don't have anyone to impress or take care of (thank God), but I want to "make it."
At least Trey Songz with the braids had a plan, I don't/didn't really have one.
What do I want to do?
What level of success do I want to reach?
I couldn't answer either question because I didn't know what success even looked like to me.
I often joke that I want to be hood rich.
But sheesh, I don't know what that is either!
Over the last couple of weeks, I realized that success is being in the will of God. Period. I need to say yes to God, even when no feels like the logical answer.
For the first time in my life, I feel successful. Graduating 3x or landing my first full-time job I don't think I felt successful. I was doing was I was "supposed" to do. But now, when I'm out here winging it mostly, I feel successful.
There's no clear path for my next steps but that's okay.
And it's all because I know I'm where I'm "supposed" to be.
God led me to the last chapter of Job (after God has gotten Job ALL the way together). Job says in verse 1: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything. Nothing and no one can upset your plans."
I'm reminded that this season was purposed. The pain, the crazy feelings, everything is a part of the plan. It didn't matter I did or did not do God was going to get me to this place.
I'm learning to take my view of the plan and path for my life and put it up, agaisnt God's. He's more worried about my character than my bank account. He cares about my submission and service more than my title.
Whether God tells me to sell everything and serve people with only the clothes on my back or build a multi-million dollar corporation, both are successful. He might ask me to do both within the same lifetime and that's okay.
God is good y'all, no matter what.