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Feeling unappreciated

So last week I missed a lot. A lot of good things because I was focused on the wrong things. I don’t mean the police brutality but I mean people placed in my life to distract me. When I say I was thrown off, I was. I allowed these people pull me away from God. I let conversations and arguments with friends change my focus on people and things that I had no business. I let people allow me to question my goals and I almost let a man make me be his side chick (make is the wrong word but it’s all I got at the moment). 

This was literally a week and half of my life. When I’m doing things I know the Lord doesn’t approve of, I hide. So for the last week and a half I hid from God. I didn’t let him see me (even though he did, you can’t hide from God). 

God protected me from becoming a side chick 3x! You would think I would quit after the first time but I didn’t. I keep going back and ignored God. The crazy thing is he never ignores me. God still spoke to me. He still loved me. He called me out of my sin and moved me toward him even when I didn’t want to. God showed me that I was like a toddler. I was holding his hand but running in the opposition direction of him. 

“What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not!” This verse was me for the beginning I ran from God and decided to take advantage of the grace he had over my life. 

I took time to pray for others once or twice during this time and God immediately wanted me to pray for the other things he placed on my heart to pray for. I asked, “why?” And he replied, “we’re just going to pick up where we left off.” He knew I was filthy but still wanted to use me. 

God’s grace and mercy truly kept me these last two weeks. The lust in my heart almost sent me down a path of unrighteousness but God is good. He is my protector even when I don’t want to be protected like the good father he is. 


“You [are like] unfaithful wives [having illicit love affairs with the world and breaking your marriage vow to God]! Do you not know that being the world’s friend is being God’s enemy? So whoever chooses to be a friend of the world takes his stand as an enemy of God. Or do you suppose that the Scripture is speaking to no purpose that says, The Spirit Whom He has caused to dwell in us yearns over us and He yearns for the Spirit [to be welcome] with a jealous love? But He gives us more and more grace (power of the Holy Spirit, to meet this evil tendency and all others fully). That is why He says, God sets Himself against the proud and haughty, but gives grace [continually] to the lowly (those who are humble enough to receive it). So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you.”

I know God felt unappreciated by his child this week. Pray with me as I go to God and ask for forgiveness. 

God is good y’all.

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