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It doesn’t add up

​Let me be frank… life has been hard, hard for quite some time now. I’ve always said that God is not necessarily looking for my happiness but my holiness. I have also said that contentment in all things is what I should strive for.  In the past, when I am not necessarily where I want to be; I’ve been okay.  Usually, comfort and contentment come quick. But recently, saying and knowing these things has not led to contentment. 

I ask God about every week about why my life can’t look this way or that. This past week was no different. I began asking questions of God, and he responded in a way that gave me more perspective, as he usually does.  He said, “Jasmine, happiness does not equal better. As I continued to pray, he added, “easier does not equal better.”

Let me give you some context, I went to Louisiana, and one of my friends said something that seemed so right. It sounded so practical; it sounded so logical; but it wasn’t a word for me. He said, “you’re good at what you do. So if you’re struggling with what you do, then that’s not the place for you.” Granted, he’s trying to get me to move home and work with him. 

My mom told me about some positions open in the local school system, another one of my close friends told me she did not have support, my grandmother and parents are getting older, and I just want to be around them… the list goes on. It would easy for me to move back to Monroe I have a place to stay. I can get a job, and I can help build the community I grew up in, something I’ve always wanted to do. But easier does not equal better.

Then I’m reminded of Jesus and his calling while on earth. Then I think about being born solely to die. I think about living knowing I’m going to die. The Bible tells us that Jesus was filled with so much agony, he sweated blood. He was about to do the one thing he was placed here to do, and he sweated blood. 

Clearly, what I consider rough and my calling pales in comparison. My point is our calling isn’t always going to be “easy” or “make us happy.”  It’s not about that. It’s about advancing the kingdom. God cares about my happiness, he cares about my safety, but he also cares that souls are saved and comforted. Some people are called to sit with the bereaved and watch them morn day after day after day after day. They are surrounded by sadness day in and day out. Some people are called to move to remote areas with no clean water or electricity for 3 years to tell people about Jesus. 

No calling brings happiness and comfort in every season, that does not mean they are any less God. God may have placed you right in the middle of the war to bring peace. I’m learning that it doesn’t always feel good, but God is good. I can have peace because he promised never to leave me or forsake me. I’m grateful that God chose me. I’m thankful that I’m in the right place at the right time. 

God is good y’all, in the middle of war and peace. 

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